Last few weeks my hubby and I attended Parenting Seminar for parents whose children are between 6-12 years old. The seminar was organized by our church (New Creation Church) with 3 main speakers, they’re our Children Ministry’s Pastor (Ps Lian), Rock Kids CEO Teacher Ronnie and Deaconess Karen.
The seminar was really indeed a blessing for all parents.
We found this is a very useful article which was shared by PS Lian hence I decided to share with all our blog readers.
Train Your Child In The Way He Should Go
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6)
Children Who Are Trained Become:
Secure, Signifcant and Strong. (taken from Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting)
To train your child we need to understand our parenting type. ( adapted from Parenting with Confidence by focus on The Family)
Parenting Types :
Commanding/ Controlling Parent
> Overly-protective
> Tells child what to think, not how to think
> Disciplinarian
> Ordered
> Controlling
> Must win at all costs
> Love is conditional on behaviour/ rejects/ withdraws love
> Often unhappy/angry/moody/hostile/grumpy
> Fussy and perfectionist
> Yells/orders/threatens/insults/criticises/blames/shames/lectures
> Uses physical force
> Uses competition
> Harsh
Child of Commanding/controlling parent
> Obedient/compliant/dependent/easily-led/people pleasing
> Low self-esteem/consumed by shame and guilt/lack sense of self
> Broken spirit and will/ self-hatred
> Repressed
> Drawn to gang leaders
> May abuse own children
> Reject parents’ values
> Rebels and reject parents
> Looks for warmth (in all the wrong places?)
Can Lah! Parent
> Rescues
> Talks as if he has no power
> Indulgent
> Smothers
> Bullied by children
> Child in control
> Sees himself only as child’s friend
> Lacks rules
> Chaos
> Instability
> In denial/dismisses major problem/ignores misbehaviour
> Abdicates authority to others
> Pleads
> Explodes when pushed too far
> Bribes/whines/nags
> Backs down
> Can be grumpy/resigned
Child of Can Lah Parent
> smothered/disoriented/confused/scared
> Obnoxious/spoiled/spiteful
> Lacks hope/ no faith in himself
> Lacks true sense of self
> Drawn to gangs
> Hungers for consistency and structure
> Reckless
Cannot Find Time Parent
> Feels guilty
> Inconsistent
> Provides little supervision/lacks rules/child has to fend for himself
> Children not the priority/lacks quality time/lacks empathy
> Children expected to make parent feel good
> Chaos/Instability
> In denial/dismisses major problems
> Abdicates authority to others
> Gives gifts and not time/extravagant compensations
> Workaholic/busy/often tired/self-absorbed
> Fails in promises
> Emotions rule
> Quick-fix to problems
Child of Cannot find Time Parent
> Feels unloved
> Mistrustful
> Lonely/scared
> Tells lies/manipulative/spiteful/obnoxious
> Repressed anger
> Self-hatred
> Lacks hope/ no faith in themselves
> Hunger for consistency and structure
Coaching Parent
> Consistent
> Creates child-friendly environment
> Fair/calm/peaceful/positive/confident and in charge
> Informed
> Not overly protective
> Loves unconditionally/shows affection
> Respects needs/honours feeling
> Stops and thinks before acting
> Does feel good things with children/enjoy family tradition
> Provide adequate supervision
> Clear simple instruction/rules with reasons/uses consequences
> Doesn’t use harsh consequences
> Obtains co-operative
> Asks questions to promote thinking
> Doesn’t sweat the small stuff
> Sees mistakes as opportunities to learn
Child of Coaching Parent
> Loving
> Secure/responsible/giving/compassionate
> Self-disciplined
> Self-reliant
> Competent
> Co-operative/reasonable
> Healthy self-esteem
> Has boundaries in his life
> Assertive
> Handles feelings well
> WOW!
Our thoughts
Parenting Seminars and Parenting Books are good and useful for us to learn how to train and discipline our little ones. But sometimes after attending the seminars or reading the books we may feel guilty as we thought we have failed in training up or disciplining our little ones due to one and others reasons such as, both parents need to work long hours due to family economic circumstances, single parent or some of us who think we have applied the wrong methods in our parenting style. BUT one of the most important factor in our parenting is JESUS, He exceeds all parenting methods and human wisdom. DO NOT sink yourself into guilty feeling for not being able to implement well the parenting methods. Turn your eyes upon Jesus who will give you wisdom and even miracles when you need them for He is our Ultimate Teacher.
Be Bless and Jesus love ya all =)
